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Mar. 29th, 2010

Mr. McSqueaky

(no subject)

I am Harold Crick, and Stranger than Fiction is my life.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

So much going on, so much coming up, so much being realized, and its all so fast and frankly, terrifying. Everything is in flux, everything is changing, and I'm either coming out of this entirely different or exactly the same, and both are frightening. On the one hand, I can fight this and stay the same, but its time for me to grow. I can feel it, palpably. But change and the unknown scares the fucking shit out of me, and facing things I've been hiding, avoiding, or holding on to is equally scary. On the other hand, change (see above). I've vague hints as to what's going to change, and how, and the process of getting from here to there is fraught with obstacles, many of which are of my own creation (a mind is a terrible thing to waste, or possess). But what I see is something I've been wanting, but have never known how to achieve. And as I look back on all that's transpired in the past 2.5 years, it all adds up to this (granted, the past always adds up to the present and future, but in this particular example its especially true). And while I don't believe in fate or destiny, the people I've met, the things I've experienced, and the things I've learned are all pointing and leading me to...something different. Something new.

I am frightened. Scared. Confused. Excited. And so very, very glad that I am surrounded by people who love me, who care about me, people who will help and guide me through this, people who will be there no matter what. And cuddling; having a lot of people to cuddle with is also important.

Tool keeps coming to mind. Specifically, the openings to Third Eye and Pushit, on Salival, as I am facing the frightening, terrorizing fact that I do not know who I am, or where I am going in this ocean of chaos. And I must enter a state of vulnerable open-mindedness; chaotic, confused and vulnerable, while still feeling safe enough to stay there. I have to look at my self from a different angle, under a different light, so I can hopefully kind of see it almost for the first time.

So, the tentative plan: LSD, surrounded by people I feel safe and comfortable around, in a comfortable environment. When I go back to LA, talking with my mom about her past, my past, and the overlaps between. Talking with Lynn regarding similar things, and perhaps bringing some closure and understanding to events and emotions two decades past.

From there, I don't know. And while frightening, that's okay, because wherever it goes, its going to be great (having over $100,000 to play with certainly helps to ease my fears of an uncertain future).

Here's to being (somewhat) comfortable with the unknown.

Nov. 27th, 2009

Mr. McSqueaky

Select Parameters of the Standard Lambda-CDM Model

The following is either copied or adapted from Table 7 of Five-Year Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe (WMAP) Observations: Data Processing, Sky Maps, and Basic Results (last revised 2008/10/17), specifically, the WMAP five-year data combined with measurements from Type Ia supernova (SNe) and Baryon acoustic oscillations (BAO).  Data for the composition of the universe at decoupling was taken from the WMAP Mission Results page.  Note that only some of the parameters are listed; several were left out either because I didn't find them interesting, or (more likely) I don't actually understand what the hell they are, or what they represent.


Hubble constant: 70.5 +/- 1.3 km/s/Mpc (kilometers per second per megaparsec)

Age of the universe: 13.72 +/- 0.12 Gyr (billion years)

Observable universe: 46.314 +0.447/-0.457 billion light-years

Age at decoupling: 376,971 +3,162/-3,167 years

Size at decoupling: 475.9 +3.6/-3.9 million light-years

Distance to decoupling: 45.773 +0.450/-0.463 billion light-years

Age at reionization: 432 +90/-67 Myr (million years)

Total density: 1.0050 +0.0060/-0.0061

Equation of state: -0.992 +0.061/-0.062

Composition of the universe at decoupling:
Dark matter: 63%
Photons: 15%
Atoms: 12%
Neutrinos: 10%

Current composition of the universe:
Dark energy: 72.6% +/- 1.5%
Dark matter: 22.8% +/- 1.3%
Baryons: 4.56% +/- 0.15%
Neutrinos: <0.71% (95% confidence level)

Neutrino mass: <0.67 eV (95% confidence level)

Sep. 24th, 2009

Mr. McSqueaky

Inspired by tacit, I think

Courtesy of http://www.lipsum.com/

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

An explanation and brief history of lorem ipsum.Collapse )

Reproduced below, in their exact form, and accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham, are Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from "de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum".

Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of "The Extremes of Good and Evil"Collapse )

The 1914 English translation by H. RackhamCollapse )

Sep. 13th, 2009

Mr. McSqueaky

I cried today

Not the usual single lone tear that often happens after a touching moment, but actual crying. I'd only done that once since hell week, when I'd lost my passport and thought I might be trapped in LA for a few months.

There are things I want to say, but its likely all trivial, and wouldn't change a goddamn thing.

Sep. 6th, 2009

Mr. McSqueaky


And now I'm a 4 gauge.

That is all.

Jun. 24th, 2009

Mr. McSqueaky

I'm Old Gregg

I just drank Baileys out of a shoe.  That is all.

May. 21st, 2009

Mr. McSqueaky

I'm amused by two things, currently

1) Everyone seems to update at the same time. I look at my friends page, and there's no change for hours, days sometimes.  Then I come back a few hours later and find something like five posts from 3 people, and this happens all the time.

2) Project Upstream.  Anyone who's encountered a fish-bot, or been trouted (or salmoned, or cohoed) should be familiar with this.  If not...then go look it up, you'll likely be amused.  Or you could just visit themissinghat, and look at their profile.  Either way, it'll explain the phenomenom.

Mar. 9th, 2009

Mr. McSqueaky


I have purchased a breathalyzer.  Drinking games shall ensue.

That is all.

Mar. 2nd, 2009

Mr. McSqueaky

Dear LiveJournal

Last night I did shrooms.  That is all.

Dec. 29th, 2008

Mr. McSqueaky

Hm...I'm taller than I thought I was

Last time I measured my height, I got 5' 6.75".  This time around, I got 5' 7.5".  So apparently have been half right about my not being 5' 7".

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